In Lieu of Good Therapy

Because therapy isn't cheap, but words are free.

Month: February, 2015

Who are we? Who am I?

Apparently new blogs require introductions.

I am a middle aged woman living in the suburbs. I happen to be married to another woman. Here, she will be called Fire Ant. She is feisty and stubborn. Beautiful and sarcastic. I knew I wanted to know her the first time I laid eyes on her. We met in college, as tends to happen. We were both dating men at the time. Yes, that happens too. After 3 years of on and off again dating, we became the real deal, was engaged within a year and married a year later. We have been doing the “unlawfully” married thing for 7 years this June. Waiting on national marriage equality. Being productive and reproductive citizens and all. Making and raising babies. Two to be exact.

Bumble Bee is our son. He just turned 5 in December and that is a very big deal. He is tall, lean, and lanky. He also bumbles around a lot. When he is not buzzing all over the place. Clumsy and overactive. Smart and sensitive. He was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) at the age of 3. Since then we have bounced around in the land of support services and IEPs and have racked up a couple of other probably to come diagnoses of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and Auditory Processing Disorder (APD). Bumble Bee is so much more than all that though. He is incredible really. A free spirited soul with a thirst for exploration. He thinks outside the box. He builds amazing things. A budding inventor. A little engineer who loves superheroes, robotics, and swimming. He is also the funniest person I know. Bumble Bee made me a Mama and, as cliche as it sounds, he had me at hello.

Itsy Bitsy is our daughter. She will be 2 in May. She is tiny but mighty. She rules our home and has since the day she came home at barely 6 pounds and gearing up for an 8 week bout of severe reflux, screaming marathons, cluster feedings, and the occasional blip of sleep. On repeat. Itsy Bitsy is high-strung and independent. From day one. She rolled over early, walked early, climbed early, talked early, and likely will do everything else early. Type A personality in training. She is sweet but skeptical. One must earn a smile and laugh from Itsy Bitsy but when she gives them it is heart stopping. She is probably our last. I think she knows this. I try not to show it, but she has me wrapped. Completely. I think she knows that too.

Fire Ant birthed both our children. Following long and fought hard for successful pregnancies, the culmination of a collective 4 years of trying to conceive. Our set up has turned into a she carried them and I care for them dynamic. Fire Ant is a career woman and I am the stereotypical suburban stay at home mom that in college I swore I would never ever be. Funny how things happen like that.

That is who we are. A Mama, a Mommy, and two absolutely gorgeous kids. No, there will probably never be any pictures posted here to prove it, but trust me, they are.

Who am I? You can call me Hungry Caterpillar. Always hungry. Always munching. Always wanting more. Hungry for sweets and treats. Hungry for life and love. An insatiable hunger for self awareness on a journey to inner and outer well-being.

Metamorphosis at its best.



In lieu of good therapy

The reality is that good therapy is not easy. Or readily available. Or cheap.

Writing helps the human soul to process, analyze, absorb, and guide. Much like a therapist, yes?

We all could use a little therapy. Now and then. On our paths of existence. Deciphering defining moments that are navigational aides in figuring out where we have been, where we are, and where we are going.

In lieu of good therapy, I blog. This is my journey.